I have found myself being lost. Several times, I have been lost, and have come to find myself. As ambiguous as this is, it has been and is my story. On one hand, I have been lost due to losing direction on my way to a particular destination. While on the other hand, I have also been lost because I simply did not comprehend some or other concept, event, or situation. What holds true about being lost, is that through every encounter, I have found myself. Serendipitously, in one way or another, I have come to discover lessons that have steered me in a specific direction.

 

I recall being in unplanned, unfamiliar territory, and therefore lost, with company and on my own. During the times that I have been lost with a friend or two, I have always found comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Having someone with me to share in my fears and sense of adventure made the journey of finding the destination less daunting.

 

My recent trip to the US Consulate for my VISA application proved no different to me being lost. I had prepared as best as I could. However, I got lost along the way. I made several wrong turns. I drove around in circles. And pulled up on more than one occasion to call a friend or ask a fuel attendant to help me find direction, to safely reach my destination. During this time of frantic panic because I was lost, late and thirsty, I had to stop myself to remind myself that I would get to where I needed to go. I had to stay calm. Yes, I was running late. And I knew that there was nothing I could do then to change that. However, what was most important was my safe arrival. At this stage, time became irrelevant. I came to that realisation when I knew that panic would get me nowhere. I had to claim back my composure. The urgency of my situation, the thoughts I had racing in my mind and the vehicles around me, all had me so fixated on being lost, that I had to force myself into a mind shift. I knew that inasmuch as I could and did receive help from friends and friendly strangers, I had to navigate myself to where I needed to go. I had to be self-reliant. No one was going to rescue me. I had, in a sense, and in the words of American essayist, poet and philosopher Henry David Thoreau:

 

“[I] went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.”

 

I recall declaring to my great friend Lungelwa that I actually enjoy being lost. I enjoy the journey and lessons that come with self-discovery. I have been told, and I am learning, that one of the best things about being in your twenties is finding oneself. I believe that spending time alone is key to knowing your true self. Solitude allows us to initially stop, then re-search and re-direct.

 

As we continue with our daily discoveries, may we remember to ever so often STOP. May we be courageous to reassess our directions and ponder on the following:

 

to STOP is to Sit Think Observe Plan

 

Sometimes words escape me. It seems as if I cannot find the words to best explain my thoughts, ideas and feelings. I am fortunate to have found poetry. It is my outlet to try make sense of it all. Below is my first SAWIP poem, it was inspired by nature and people.

Worker ants as active citizens

Everyone stares at the big elephant in the room

They know that it cannot be moved single-handedly

The task seems overwhelmingly insurmountable

Clouds of uncertainty should not cast a shadow of doubt

 

The elephant is not a mountain; therefore, it can be moved

The vision is clear

Plans are made and a model is developed

A strategy is in place

 

Seasons change. It has always been a dynamic equilibrium

Elastic flexibility in the master plan was in place

Autumn winds and frostbite winter

Arab Spring and summer harvests

 

The silence is breaking

(I fail to understand why is was golden)

We are recruiting for worker ants

We are in the business of fostering symbiotic relationships

 

We will eat the elephant one bite at a time

Rumour has it it’s the best way to right the wrongs

Slowly, surely, trusting worker ants get to work

Together everyone accomplishes more

 

t's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something. - Crash: 2004

The 21st century has seen the advent of great technology - today I can connect with people via my Blackberry, stay in contact with a friend from America through Facebook, and just with a click of a button on my laptop, voila! I could be speaking to that very friend from America through Skype. It's absolutely amazing.

But, we have also lost the ability to connect with people outside the technological sphere. I think a lot of the technologically capable world will rather sit behind their pieces of technology connecting with strangers than making the effort to connect with people outside of their sphere. I know that this rings true for myself - indeed - I guess I have lost the ability to connect with others.

How does this work in the context of servant leadership then? How did I learn to reconnect with people?

Below is a piece that I wrote for this photo below as part of an auction for a SAWIP fundraiser. A part of the community service experience - and how I learnt from it all!

Each of the SAWIP team members has to spend a certain amount of hours doing community service. When I first started looking for a suitable project to be involved in, one emotion raced through my head: fear. The fear of not finding a project, the fear of not having the ability to connect with people, the fear of rejection. Confused, I kept on asking myself: “Why, Irene? Why are you fearful? You are a potential leader of South Africa. You are not meant to be fearful!” After talking to others about my fears, I realised that we were all in the same boat.

Lesson number 1: Leaders are also human beings.

After a few weeks of procrastination brought on by my fearful state, I finally found a project. A friend’s mom was working at a crèche in a township on the outskirts of Stellenbosch. My task was to play with the children. But I was fearful yet again. I don’t connect naturally with children - how was I going to be able to connect with children that weren't from the same socioeconomic background as myself?

Lesson number 2: Face the fear.

When I got to the crèche that first Friday afternoon, I was not sure what to expect. As I saw the faces of the children I was going to be playing with, I got more tense. But, once I got inside and started playing with the children, my perspective started to change. It does not matter what circumstances we are in - everyone wants to be loved. And the great thing about love is that anyone can give it. Seeing a child’s face light up when you play with them, or giving them a hug is something to be cherished and worth preserving.

Lesson number 3: Love can go a long way

On one of my last days at the crèche, I decided to take my camera with me to take some photos of the children. The children were ecstatic, always wanting to be in front of the camera. The photo that is being auctioned off today serves as a reminder of why we, as future South African leaders, have to be involved in our communities. In order to know how to change our communities, we need to know what is going on in our communities.

Lesson number 4: Be connected.