Masculinity - the status quo
In a continuation of my theme of gender, I present you with Rudyard Kipling's If.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!
This poem has become a seminal poem of the 19th century. The speaker is presumably a father giving his son advice on what it means to be a man. The poem is beautifully written and contains some enormously sound advice. It is also one of the most quoted poems of all time. It resonates with people now as it did in 1859.
What this poem does is make a series of qualities that could be gender neutral expressly masculine. It does not read 'you'll be an adult, my child' but rather 'you'll be a man, my son'. In so doing, it advances that the qualities of sensibility, confidence, humility, honesty, positivity, genuineness, ambition, thoughtfulness, level-headedness, perseverance, pride, success, inspiration, strength, kindness, stature and respect as masculine traits.
While I appreciate the fact that the poem is at least endorsing balanced men and not burly fighting machines, I resent that these qualities cannot be seen across the gender line.








