SAWIP inspires, develops and supports annual teams of interns and its whole alumni body to bring about community development through social projects amongst the most disadvantaged and marginalised South Africans.

Never accept to be a victim

by Zizipho Pae
Zizipho Pae
Love GOD, Love People, Be a Servant, Lead with Heart. Transform Society
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on Jun 24 in Experience 0 Comment

More often than not, young people who have grown up in disadvantaged homes and who grew up under a spirit of lack, take on the seat that I like to call the victim seat. This means that they accept the fact that they are a victim of their past, that they were unfortunate enough to not have what everything that they needed. They accept the life in which they grew up in and make the decision whether consciously or subconsciously that this I how things are and this is how they will always be. They take the seat back and allow their peers, who grew up more privileged, get an education and go on to succeed and do great things with their lives.

What this youth then tends to do as they go into their adult life is that they develop an unhealthy sense of entitlement, and develop a mentality that the government is supposed to help them and that it is the job of the government to help them, feed them, house them and clothe them. This topic is very close to home and I can relate to a large extent to it.

Having grown up financially unfortunate, I understand that feeling sorry for yourself can be very easy, especially when you are surrounded by the privileged and the better haves. It’s very easy to allow yourself to feel inferior around people that have grown up in a more fortunate environment than you and at times you even start to feel they are somewhat smarter than you are, more able than you are, speak better than you do, present themselves better and so forth and you can end up in a mentality of thinking that you will never be like them.

I have felt like this on many occasions, and to this day, although I have gotten much better, I sometimes still do. What I have learnt through this, however, is that it will never get you anywhere. Feeling sorry for yourself is never going to help improve you as a person, all that it will do is make you feel self-conscious and not trust in your own abilities. This is never healthy, for anyone, regardless off the kind of life that they had. Allowing yourself to feel inferior will do nothing positive for you and it is not a position in which you would like to find yourself on any day. 

What one needs to do instead is ‘take their seat’ as Glen Ackerman said. One needs to understand that they are just as smart, just as competent and just as capable as anyone else amongst their peers. This helps to not only help build a better self-esteem but to also make you more confident as to do better, perform better and when has more faith in their own capabilities, one is able to do above and beyond what is expected of them.

From someone who is often viewed as confident, outspoken and bold, yet still sometimes suufers from an inferiority complex, never allow yourself to feel inferior, under any circumstances. Always keep your head high and believe in who you are. Never be ashamed of where you come from and how you grew up. The things of the past only help educate you and sometimes build your character, they are never a boundary that should hinder you from experiences and from achieving your dreams. And not that I think about it, no one can ever make you feel inferior without your permission. Thus it is up to you whether or not you are going to feel inferior in the midst of others. Try to always believe in yourself.

To be quite frank, in this world, nobody actually wants to succeed because someone felt sorry for them, or because they were given some kind of hand-out. There is no value in that kind of success. Be strong and overcome your circumstances. Once you succeed that way, you will value your success.

NEVER TAKE THE VICTIM SEAT – it will only hinder you from greater things.

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Zizipho Pae

Love GOD, Love People, Be a Servant, Lead with Heart. Transform Society


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