I have nothing to say (but I'll say something anyway)

I know this sounds like the introductory round of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting – or in this case a Voiceless Anonymous meeting – and it is completely out-of-place in the forum of a SAWIP blog. I do know this. However, for me having nothing to say is so incredibly out of character that I must share it.

This is my introductory SAWIP blog and those of you reading it probably don’t know me at all; allow me to share with you that it is a somewhat bizarre occurrence for me to not have anything to say. I enjoy speaking and I enjoy writing; for some reason, when faced with writing an introductory blog post, I realized that I have very little to say.

I think this is because I’m completely overwhelmed – overwhelmed with fear and overwhelmed with excitement.

The team of which I am privileged to be a part is one of dynamic individuals, each of whom have so abundantly proven that their voice should be a formative one in the narration of the future South African story. This team overwhelms me; not only because each person can so intelligently and articulately critique my opinions and present their own, but because their energy, passion and brilliance are overwhelming. In the past week, I have had discussions with people – team members, team leaders and guests and friends of SAWIP – both in a group and with individuals, who have challenged and altered my perceptions of myself and South Africa.

Last weekend we visited a community development project in Khayelitsha that epitomized authentic, grass roots Development – be it on a small scale. Vivian Zilo has changed her community. Her world – in the most limited scope of the word – and the lives of those in her reach, have improved because of her. (Read more about Vivian and the Iliso Society Care at http://www.ilisocaresociety.org.za). This is invigorating; this is overwhelming. If Vivian can change the world for the people around her, in terms of how they perceive themselves, their space and their opportunities, how many other people can do the same? Vivian has had an enormously challenging life; she successfully finished school, saved up money from serving as a domestic worker to put herself through university, and has made – and continues to make – a fundamental difference in her world. If Vivian can so radically alter her world, what is stopping so many other people from changing their worlds?

Vivian’s story served to remind me that while we may spend hours debating politics, or macroeconomic policy on an abstract level, these issues are about people, as much as they are about ideological supremacy or theoretical engagement. People have agency. Because of systems and policies, or in spite of these, individuals make their lives; individuals change their worlds. People are so much more than we can be reduced to in simple statistics about the poverty line or a GENI coefficient. I am not making the argument that people are not systematically oppressed, or that societal structures leave all on equal-footing. But people have agency – agency to change ourselves, others and our respective worlds.

This is overwhelming. As a Politics student, when faced with theses questions I would quite like the level of abstraction involved in theories of voting patterns and democratic consolidation. I am overwhelmed by people, by potential, by the individual, by my team, by South Africa – both in its problems and its triumphs – and by my own agency and ability to change my world. I am fearful, but I am also invigorated and inspired. I remain in awe of my teammates, who are such incredible examples of people being able to change their own worlds.

So while I may not yet having anything profound to say, I can tell you this: I am overwhelmed, scared, excited and filled with anticipation – for the SAWIP program, for recovering my voice and for the future of this country.