There are many incredible experiences that we are fortunate enough to have through SAWIP. We are surrounded by a network of people who care deeply about South Africa and have recognized in us a kind of potential which we might not even have seen yet, but that forms part of a much ‘bigger picture’ for our country (said at the risk of sounding very bold indeed) . These individuals invest in us their money, their time, their energy, and their true concern. This is what allows SAWIP to ‘happen’. Yet aside from all of the workshops, debates, learning, meetings, exercises and least of all the experience of working and living in Washington, DC for six weeks, one of the most valuable experiences that I have had is removed from these itinerary items. SAWIP, in the space of mere weeks, has facilitated a process of rapid self-reflection for me, which I imagine without the program, would only have happened slowly (and more gently) over many years.
One such reflection occurred today (now probably yesterday) on Mother’s Day. Through the program, I have come to work with a children’s home in Athlone in Cape Town as part of my community project. As a result, every Sunday I don a definite ‘dress code four’, tie up my hair, roll up my sleeves and go to wake up the 16 four- to six-year-olds, whose naps end just as I arrive. For them, it is time to open their eyes, step outside and play. For me, it is time to open my eyes, step outside and learn.
In the interest of creating routine and consistency for children who can probably not rely on much else, the structure of my time spent there is always the same. They wake up; this generally requires a fair amount of coaxing and enthusiastic mention of sunshine, fresh air and the nice day. Then it is time to go outside. This is generally accompanied by equal amounts of sand in mouths, playground politics, giggles and tears, having to play human pony (or dinosaur) and my best attempts at developing hand-eye coordination and a culture of sharing and taking turns. The day ends with supper time and then bath time which comes complete with teeth-brushing patrol, coordinating matching pyjama sets and trying to clean, dry and dress 16 very energetic little people arguing over Spiderman underpants.
In addition to a free cardio workout, training in future parenting skills, learning the value of patience and having a good sense of humour alike, and gaining a renewed respect for parents and people who work with children, I learnt a lot from observing a sense of nurturing and responsibility at the home from some of the most unexpected sources, fitting for the day perhaps.
I observed this as I watched the work of the caretakers. These are women whose job it is to see that these children are fed, clothed and cleaned. These are women whose connection to these children is first and foremost professional in their capacity of holding responsibility for 50 children all demanding individual love, care and patience. These are women who have to deal with challenges ranging from runny noses and wet beds, to a lack of resources and essentially raising children scarred by the extremely adverse backgrounds from whence they come. Yet these are also the women who find the love and patience to gently hold these little hands as they walk (very slowly) down the stairs, to comfort them when they cry, teach them manners and instil morals and values in them despite everything else, and do all of this with smile lines creased into their faces.
I observed this as I watched a young mother sit, tears running down the creases in her face as she fed her child in a state home, when she was not able to look after her, in her own home. I looked at the image of a person who some of us so easily dehumanise and blame for whatever action, poor decision, or circumstance that has brought her child there. Yet yesterday what I saw was just another young girl, who life had worn down and nearly broken and who I had probably not expected to be there, yet she was.
Finally, I observed this in a moment when I was sitting on a chair outside, one child on each leg, heads on my chest and another behind me, playing with my disappointing and frustratingly short hair, and I caught a reflection in the window. Just for a second, I could have as easily been a young mother in similar circumstances as described above. I am not her, but for a moment I was there just to share in the responsibility of children. I was also there to look past my reflection and see a young man I recognised from one of my courses swooning over a crying toddler next door, something I found quite touching.
These are seemingly small and trivial happenings, but they did lead me to consider that for all that is happening in South Africa, for all that I dream of changing – poor and corrupt leadership, the lack of accountability, poor service delivery, to be part of a network of humanity just looking after our children is what is important to me. I am acutely aware of the controversy and questions raised surrounding work of this nature: “Who does it really benefit?”, “Is it sustainable?" Again, I have not found the answers yet. But these seemingly small and self-focused reflections have led me to at least one important reminder. I discovered a poem in an old poetry textbook, which in its last stanza captures this reminder to myself particularly well.
Today
A woman with a gash
So deep and wide in
Her black soul
Came and spilled her
Self over me.
Asking to be held
Like no-one held her
Asking to be fed
Like no-one fed her
She crawled beneath
My skirt trembling and
Afraid and clasped
My lifeboat legs
But I had meetings
To go to
And a world to save.
- Gabriela Pearse